Training in Tenderness
By Dzigar Kongtrul
Foreword by Pema Chodron
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Ani Pema Chödrön was born Deirdre Blomfield-Brown in 1936, in New York City. She attended Miss Porter’s School in Connecticut and graduated from the University of California at Berkeley. She taught as an elementary school teacher for many years in both New Mexico and California. Pema has two children and three grandchildren.
While in her mid-thirties, Ani Pema traveled to the French Alps and encountered Lama Chime Rinpoche, with whom she studied for several years. She became a novice nun in 1974 while studying with Lama Chime in London. His Holiness the Sixteenth Karmapa came to Scotland at that time, and Ani Pema received her ordination from him.
Pema first met her root guru, Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche, in 1972. Lama Chime encouraged her to work with Rinpoche, and it was with him that she ultimately made her most profound connection, studying with him from 1974 until his death in 1987. At the request of the Sixteenth Karmapa, she received the full bikshuni ordination in the Chinese lineage of Buddhism in 1981 in Hong Kong.
Ani Pema served as the director of Karma Dzong in Boulder, Colorado, until moving in 1984 to rural Cape Breton, Nova Scotia, to be the director of Gampo Abbey. Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche gave her explicit instructions on establishing this monastery for Western monks and nuns. She currently teaches in the United States and Canada and plans for an increased amount of time in solitary retreat under the guidance of Venerable Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche. She is interested in helping to establish Tibetan Buddhist monasticism in the West, as well as continuing her work with Western Buddhists of all traditions, sharing ideas and teachings. Her nonprofit, the Pema Chödrön Foundation, was set up to assist in this purpose.
"Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche is one of the most highly qualified people I know. . . . I am hopeful that Rinpoche’s new book will help many of us get to know and make the best of our own warmth of heart. May Training in Tenderness help to heal the anxiety and polarization of our world!" —Pema Chödrön, author of When Things Fall Apart
"A warm and affectionate heart frees us from whatever binds us and connects us empathetically with all beings. This simple yet life-changing attitude makes our own life meaningful and has the power to heal the world. I strongly encourage anyone who encounters Kongtrul Rinpoche’s beautiful book to take its profound wisdom to heart." —Yongey Mingyur Rinpoche, author of The Joy of Living
"Kongtrul Rinpoche delivers a series of profound explorations and expositions on one of the most important aspects of our spiritual practice—uncovering the tender warmth and affection in our hearts. This tenderness is the root source of all that is truly beneficial in the world. Rinpoche leads us through a foundational training for compassionate vision and our own liberation, with joyful diligence and an open heart." —Sharon Salzberg, author of Lovingkindness and Real Love
"Let this gem of a book be your faithful guide and companion in opening your heart to others. It unlocks the door to that most precious human quality of all: unconditional tenderness for all beings." —Matthieu Ricard, author of Altruism and Happiness
"Deep, inspiring, and disarmingly simple, this book demonstrates our innate capacity for tenderness. A warm heart is the source of compassion, loving-kindness, and equanimity, even in the face of death. Thanks to the clear mind and kind heart of Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche, we now have a guide to cultivating this most precious quality and letting it shine out to the world." —Jan Chozen Bays, author of Mindful Eating
"It is possible to cultivate true happiness in all aspects of our daily lives and to change our reality—and that of the people around us—in the process. It’s all about arousing the warmth of heart that is our birthright as humans. Dzigar Kongtrul’s potent instruction manual shows you how." —Lodro Rinzler, author of Love Hurts
"With clarity, brevity, and grace, Kongtrul ably conveys his hopeful vision that all individuals can ‘live a life full of joy, meaning, and profound value to the world.’" —Publisher’s Weekly starred review
"An immensely appealing tribute to the spiritual practice of an open heart." —Spirituality and Practice
"’Without tsewa, is there any other source of happiness?’ This is the question posed by Dzigar Kongtrul Rinpoche in Training in Tenderness. Always circling back to this Tibetan word meaning love, tenderness, or warmth, Kongtrul pushes us to honestly examine what fulfills us and what doesn’t." —Buddhadharma: The Practitioner's Quarterly